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Wednesday, July 6, 2016

This is my improvement on my blog

This is my improvement on my blog 


before
I think we should keep it because it is a lot of fun and
because you can learn a lot of stuff.
My comment is a bit too short. I also have used no greeting.

after 


                                                                             Joseph28 June 2016 at 15:55
Hi Miss Whoa its Joseph here looking at the photo's from camp
thanks for taking us on the year 6 camp did you have fun ?
My comment has capital letters. It is longer. I have also used a greeting and asked a question.
Posted by at

1 comment:

  1. Lee-Anne WahoJuly 6, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    Kia ora Joseph.
    Your commenting sure has improved. I am impressed. I can't wait to see more of your comments and to see your writing have these key three things to focus on.
    Tau kē.

    ReplyDelete

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